Social Media | On Matters of Privacy and Control

I recently attended a conference where Social Media was one of the "hot  topics". I began to explore and discuss the ideas of privacy and social media with some of my peers. I was introduced to an interesting concept, which was that to remove one self from social media is "akin to removing yourself from the conversation(s) of society".

The idea is that Social Media can be good, just as much as it can be bad. Simply closing yourself off to it is not the solution, as there is many advantages to it. I have friends who simply don't prescribe to Facebook, or Social Media in general. I have found that sometimes they're not always in the loop about what's going on in the world, or the various social circles that they are apart of. I'm not saying these people aren't intelligent, they are, however I feel as though these people miss out on some of the interesting and wonderful things that comes along with using Social Media. Too much of anything is obviously bad for you, and the saying applies to Social Media. In small controlled doses the experience can be rewarding, but when people abuse or overuse the service it can not only strain yourself but also your peers and co-workers relationships and perceptions of you.

I feel like people can miss the point, or don't understand their audience. Obviously obnoxious and annoying things happen to all of us every day, but if the main focus of your online social experience with other people is to bitch you're simply doing it wrong. This is why it's important to understand the message, and always control the message. On the flip side people don't want to hear about how everything is perfect or amazing, remember people aren't one dimensional - so neither should your posts be. Sustenance is key.

Obviously the majority of users have problems with businesses selling their information (Facebook). The unfortunate reality is that we trade our rights to privacy and information (on some level) to use a service like Facebook or Twitter. Being part of this conversation is important, however one must examine the cost of each service as they differ greatly. Twitter, in my opinion is a far better trade off when it comes to giving up personal information, compared to what the user gets out of the service. The beauty of Twitter is that users relationships are kept separate of their personal lives, where as Facebook intermixes communication with new and established relationships online - this can be dodgy at the best of times. Also, Facebook requires a steep cost, and provides a moderate service for what they ask, take, and sell of you.

On a personal note, if someone ever figures out how to properly work Facebook's privacy settings, I'd appreciate an explanation or crash course. Facebook's privacy settings are convoluted. I feel like it's blatantly obvious when you're on someone's limited profile - and I have had the wonderful experience of being friends with someone but not being able to see their photos, wall, posts, or friend list. To top it off this person added me! It's almost like you want to say to this person, "What's the point in us being friends on Facebook? I'm obviously sharing my information with you, on some level to feel connected and engaged in your life - however this relationship is not reciprocal". The problem more than not falls back on the fact that Facebook's privacy settings either make you board your Facebook up, or open it up completely; It's hard to establish a middle ground. This is why controlling the information is necessary, as you should never put something out there that you would not want one single person to see, read, or know about. Taking ownership for the things you say in person is just as important as taking ownership for the things you say online. This may sound like it requires a great degree of control, but it really doesn't. I'll explain.

I began several years ago realizing that there is times when photos are being taken that they may come across as inappropriate. This can be damaging to a person in the short and long term. I also had a run in with one of managers several years ago where he quoted something I said online, luckily I wasn't fired but it did wake me up to the realization that I am accountable for what I do and say online. I began to actively exercise better judgement when photos are being taken and whether I choose to be part of them. I will actively walk out of a shot sometimes, which isn't always great to do as you might offend people - but it is great card to play when you're protecting your own interests.

Rob Ford | My Outlandish Mayor

Recently Toronto's Mayor Rob Ford has come under scrutiny from Gawker and The Toronto Star, after they accused the Mayor of  appearing in a video,which he is seen smoking crack and making homophobic and racist comments. Unfortunately, the video isn't available to the public. Recently three journalists, one from Gawker and the other two from the Toronto Star met some Somali men involved in the drug trade in the back of a car. The men are "shopping the video around", as they are looking to make a monetary gain off of it. A link to the full story, is found here.

I honestly want the public to see the video, don't get me wrong but should the public seriously be interested in raising $200,000 - which they plan to hand over to drug dealers? Probably not. As much as I personally think Rob Ford isn't the best mayor, or the right fit for a population as diverse as Toronto - I don't think handing over large sums of money to drug dealers is something people should be involved in.

I think Rob Ford's career is headed towards the tube anyway, and that money could go to some great and positive things. I'm a big fan of crowd funding, just not when it's used to make criminals rich. Hopefully Rob Ford saves people some money, and stops this circus before it gets out of hand (might be too late for that to be honest). If he was smart he'd step down and admit to smoking something other than Crack in the video, and play down the comments he made during the video.

Eventually the video will come out, so it is really up to Ford about how he wants to go about this. I think waiting for the video to either be purchased or leaked is a bad call. I think Ford needs to bite the bullet, and admit some wrong doing before this balloons out of control for him. He should try to retain some dignity, while there's some to retain.

Understanding Different Personality Styles | Navigating the Personal and Professional World

I recently attended a workshop under the direction of public speaker, Drew Dudley. Drew introduced my group to the four personality styles, which are 1) Analytical 2) Driver 3) Amiable and 4) Expressive. Essentially working in team requires people to work with a diverse number of people. This is common, however I started to think about how these personality types translate into peer relationships, and more importantly personal relationships. I've included a link to an article that is entitled, How to Negotiate with the 4 Personality Styles - and let's be honest anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that negotiation is pivotal to maintaining a relationship that is prosperous, but also harmonious.

We often consider the notion that it is important to understand the personality styles of those we work with, as our purpose is to create an effective team. Although we forget about friendships and personal relationships, as if they require less understanding or tact. I started to think about my conceptions of people, or rather misconceptions. I started to begin to realize that conflict or a preconceived notion that there was in fact a conflict may be based off our interpretation of other people's personality. Meaning that I assumed there is a conflict in which I did something to offend or upset someone.

For example, a person who is analytical can come across as cold or ineffectual. That might not be the case, as an analytical person is self controlled and serious. They take time to develop established relationships, which is confusing to Expressive person as we see an Analytical person as possibly disliking us. In that sense it is very hard for an analytical person to develop new relationships, as being reserved sends an Expressive person mixed signals - we assume that the individual doesn't want anything to do with us simply because they are unwilling to immediately open up to us, which is ridiculous to assume someone would. I can identify where some of my analytical friends struggle to develop new relationships, outside of their pre-existing ones. In fact, I can remember how long it took for me to develop friendships with these individuals to a level where they felt comfortable enough to involve me in the intricate parts of their lives. I'm grateful that this happened, regardless of the time it took for it to happen as I consider some of my analytical friends some of the best friends I have.

Another personality trait is Amiable, which is classified as being the Supporter. A person who is an Amiable is not assertive, but responsive. They are the soft-hearted person who wants to be everyone's friend. They tend to be over-sensitive and their good nature can easily be taken advantage of. Amiable's make great friends, however one must be careful not to influence their beliefs or decisions as an Amiable is easily persuaded. Drivers are another great example of someone who is often "misunderstood". Drivers are often called the doers or implementers. Drivers are focused on getting things done. Drivers are time oriented, as opposed to Expressive's who are people oriented. Drivers are firm, and controlled. Drivers do enjoy relationships, and are often confused as being Analytic's. However, this is untrue as a Driver prefers to get to know someone before determining whether they are interested in developing a relationship with that person. It's almost like a screening process that goes on to determine whether they will open up to you or not. 

"We dislike people, because we see character traits in others that we dislike in ourselves" (Drew Dudley)

An example of this is that I'm often annoyed when an Expressive person constantly raises their hand to ask questions, or enjoys over involving themselves in group discussions or lectures. Why do I dislike when people do this? Because I myself do this! It's important to understand your personality style and fulfil your personal needs, such as my need to be expressive - but to do it in a format that does not dominate the conversation or alienate myself from the team or group. It's about knowing yourself, and controlling yourself.

At the same time, a person who is analytical could benefit from being openly more expressive as to help foster and promote new relationships. Obviously, people don't fit perfectly into four categories as many people have traits that translate into various quadrants.